I’ll never forget the first time this truth hit me. It was during a yoga class years ago, when I was going through one of the toughest times in my life. I had just gone through a painful breakup, the kind that leaves you feeling like a part of you is missing, and I thought I could just move on by staying busy, keeping my mind occupied, and avoiding the deeper pain. But yoga had other plans for me.
I remember lying in Savasana at the end of class, the room warm and silent except for the instructor’s calm voice guiding us through a meditation. She said something that felt like it pierced right through me: “For us to heal, we must feel.”
The words struck a chord deep within, and I found myself tearing up unexpectedly. The truth is, I had been running away from my emotions, thinking that if I could avoid the pain, I wouldn’t have to deal with it. But here, on the mat, there was no escape. I had to feel it all.
Our feelings are not just passive reactions to what happens in our lives—they are a powerful, creative force that shapes our experiences. It’s easy to think of emotions as simple responses to events: good things make us feel good, and bad things make us feel bad. But feelings go far beyond just reacting to life. They have a causative, attracting power that influences what we draw into our lives.
When we understand that our emotions can create outcomes, we start to see that healing and transformation are possible not just by changing our thoughts but also by engaging with our feelings. Instead of just reacting to the ups and downs, we can use our emotions to shape a better reality.
Why We Avoid Our Emotions
Let’s face it—most of us aren’t taught how to deal with our emotions. We’re told to "stay strong," "move on," or "keep busy." It’s almost like we’re conditioned to believe that feeling deeply is a weakness. We distract ourselves with work, social media, or even positive things like fitness, thinking that if we can just push through, the hurt will disappear. But the truth is, those unprocessed emotions linger, buried under layers of distractions, waiting to resurface.
In that moment on the mat, I realized that avoiding my emotions was like putting a Band-Aid on a wound that needed to breathe. I needed to let myself feel the hurt, the anger, the sadness—everything I had been trying so hard to push away. It was a humbling moment, but also an incredibly liberating one. Because once I allowed myself to feel, I could begin to heal.
Feeling as Part of the Healing Process
There’s a saying in yoga: “The issues are in the tissues.” It means that the body holds onto emotional pain just as much as the mind does. When we ignore our feelings, they don’t just disappear—they settle into our muscles, our breath, and even our posture. It’s like carrying around a weight that slowly wears us down.
But when we choose to feel, something magical happens. Those tight muscles begin to release, the breath flows more freely, and suddenly, we’re not just healing physically—we’re healing emotionally too. It’s as if the body is finally saying, “Thank you for letting me be heard.”
I remember during that difficult time, I would come to class and feel this intense release during certain poses, especially deep hip openers like Pigeon Pose. There were days I would cry without even knowing why—it was like my body had been holding onto emotions I hadn’t allowed myself to process. And with every tear, I felt a little lighter, a little closer to the person I was trying to find again.
The Beauty in Feeling Everything
It’s easy to label emotions as “good” or “bad”—happiness is good, anger is bad, joy is good, sadness is bad. But the truth is, emotions are not right or wrong; they are simply part of being human. In yoga, we talk about embracing all aspects of life—the light and the dark, the joy and the sorrow. It’s all part of the beautiful tapestry that makes up our experience.
When I look back now, I see that allowing myself to feel those difficult emotions was the most courageous thing I could have done. It wasn’t easy—there were times when I felt overwhelmed and even scared by the intensity of it all. But each time I let myself feel, I took a step closer to healing. And with each step, I discovered that even in the midst of pain, there is beauty. There is growth. There is transformation.
How to Begin the Process of Feeling
I know it’s not easy to just “feel your feelings.” It sounds simple, but in practice, it can be incredibly hard. Here are a few things that helped me along the way:
Create a Safe Space: Whether it’s on your yoga mat, in a journal, or simply in a quiet room, find a space where you feel safe enough to let your guard down. Sometimes, just sitting with your feelings for five minutes can be a powerful first step.
Acknowledge Without Judgment: When emotions come up, try not to judge them. There’s no need to label them as good or bad. Simply notice what you’re feeling and allow yourself to experience it fully.
Use Movement as a Tool: Yoga, walking, or any form of mindful movement can help release emotions that are stored in the body. Pay attention to where you feel tension or tightness, and breathe into those areas.
Talk to Someone: Sometimes, sharing what you’re feeling with a trusted friend or therapist can help you process emotions in a healthy way. There’s no shame in reaching out for support.
Allow Yourself to Cry: It’s okay to cry. In fact, it can be one of the most healing things you can do. Crying is a form of release—let it happen.
A Personal Mantra
Now, whenever I find myself struggling to process an emotion, I come back to that simple but powerful truth: “For us to heal, we must feel.” It’s become a kind of mantra for me, a reminder that there is no shortcut to healing. We can’t just go around our emotions—we have to go through them.
The next time you’re on your mat, or even just sitting quietly with yourself, I invite you to tune in and ask:
What am I feeling right now?
Give yourself permission to be human, to feel everything. You might be surprised at how much healing is waiting for you on the other side.
Healing isn’t about fixing what’s broken; it’s about acknowledging what’s there and letting it be felt, layer by layer.
So let yourself feel. It’s the most courageous thing you can do, and it’s the path to true healing.
What are you feeling today? Have you allowed yourself to truly experience it?
3 steps to our Feelings
Identify – Recognize What You're Feeling
The first step toward healing is to identify our feelings.
Often, we go through life on autopilot, reacting to situations without fully understanding the emotions behind our actions. It’s easy to say, “I’m just stressed,” or “I’m fine,” but those surface-level labels don’t always capture the full picture. When we take a moment to truly identify what we are feeling, we can begin to understand the root of our emotions.
For example, if you feel angry, ask yourself why. Is it really anger, or is it hurt, frustration, or fear masquerading as anger? When we can name the emotion—whether it's sadness, joy, anxiety, or relief—it becomes more manageable. It’s like shining a light into a dark room; once you can see what’s there, it’s no longer as overwhelming. Identifying our feelings gives us the awareness we need to address them directly and begin the process of healing.
Clarify – Understand the Source and Meaning of the Feeling
Once we identify what we’re feeling, the next step is to clarify where it’s coming from and what it’s trying to tell us. Emotions often carry valuable messages, but they can be mixed up with other influences, such as past experiences, external stressors, or even physical states like fatigue. Clarifying involves digging deeper to understand the source of the emotion and why it’s arising.
Think of it like this: if you’re feeling anxious, is it because of a specific situation, or is it a general sense of unease? Clarifying the feeling allows you to uncover any underlying beliefs, patterns, or triggers that may be contributing to it. It’s about understanding not just what you’re feeling, but also why you’re feeling it. This deeper understanding can reveal insights about your emotional landscape, helping you make more informed choices on how to move forward.
The process of clarification is like untangling a knot. Once you start separating the strands, the tension begins to release, and everything becomes more manageable. When we take the time to clarify our feelings, we can find healthier ways to respond, rather than simply reacting out of habit or impulse.
Amplify – Allow Yourself to Fully Feel and Express It
The final step is to amplify your feelings, not in the sense of making them bigger or more intense, but in allowing yourself to fully experience and express them. Too often, we try to suppress or minimize our emotions, especially if they’re uncomfortable. We might tell ourselves, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or “It’s not a big deal,” but by doing so, we miss the opportunity to process and release the emotion.
Amplifying means giving your feelings the space they need to be felt fully. It’s about letting yourself experience the sadness, the joy, the anger, or the relief without judgment. If you’re sad, give yourself permission to cry. If you’re joyful, let yourself laugh out loud. If you’re frustrated, express it in a healthy way, such as through movement, art, or talking it out. Amplifying your feelings doesn’t mean losing control; it means embracing the emotion with the intention to understand, release, and heal.
When we allow ourselves to amplify our feelings, we tap into their transformative power. Emotions are energy in motion, and when we amplify them—by fully expressing and acknowledging them—we create an opening for change and growth. It’s like turning up the volume on a song; you can hear every note and feel every beat more clearly. By amplifying, you give yourself the chance to truly connect with what’s happening inside, and that connection is where healing begins.
Putting It All Together: The Path to Healing
The journey to emotional healing begins with these three steps: Identify, Clarify, and Amplify. When we identify our feelings, we bring awareness to them. When we clarify them, we gain a deeper understanding of their source and significance. And when we amplify them, we give ourselves the freedom to fully experience and express them.
The more we practice this approach, the more skilled we become at navigating our emotional landscape. We start to see emotions not as obstacles, but as guides—each one carrying a message, each one leading us closer to ourselves. So, the next time you feel something rising up within you, remember these three steps. Give yourself the grace to identify what it is, the courage to clarify where it’s coming from, and the openness to amplify it fully.
Because to heal, we must first allow ourselves to feel.
Have you ever thought about the five feelings you’d want to experience every single day—feelings that define how you show up in the world? Here’s what I’d choose:
Joyful: I just want to feel joy every day. You know, that kind of joy where you catch yourself smiling for no reason, where you feel a little lighter and more alive. It’s about finding those moments of happiness in the everyday, whether it’s a good cup of coffee or a quick laugh with a friend.
Grateful: I aim to wake up each day with a sense of gratitude. It doesn’t have to be about something huge; it could be as simple as appreciating the sunlight streaming through the window or being thankful for a good conversation. Gratitude, for me, is about noticing and acknowledging all the little things that make life beautiful.
Passionate: I want to feel fired up about whatever I’m doing. It’s not just about big projects or goals—it’s about bringing that sense of enthusiasm to all the little things too. Whether I’m reading a book, working, or even catching up with a friend, I want to feel that spark, that excitement that makes life interesting.
Loving-Kindness: It’s important to me to feel a sense of loving-kindness toward others and myself. It means approaching every interaction with a little more compassion, giving others—and myself—a bit more grace. It’s about bringing a sense of warmth and care into my daily life, even when things aren’t perfect.
Purposeful: I want to feel like I’m living my life on purpose. Like I’m doing something that matters, something that’s aligned with who I am and what I’m here to do. It doesn’t always have to be big or life-changing; even the small moments can feel meaningful when they’re connected to your deeper purpose.
So, what about you?
What are the five feelings you want to feel every day? And would you be willing to take a little time to actually focus on them? I’m talking about just a minute or two to really amplify those feelings, because the way we feel can actually attract more of those experiences into our lives.
At the end of the day, everything we’re chasing usually comes down to a feeling. Think about it—when we want a relationship, it’s really because we want to feel love, connection, and belonging. When we dream about a big house, it’s not just the house itself—it’s about feeling comfortable, successful, and at peace. Even when we’re striving for more money, what we really want is the sense of freedom, security, and empowerment that comes with it.
It’s not the things themselves that matter most—it’s how they make us feel. So why not start with the feelings?
Love
Sumit Banerjee
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